Smoking Cessation Nested Metaphor

Now many people come to me
and ask for help in solving
some particular difficulty,
and they say to me:

"I have no motivation, I have no discipline!"
And I say to them,

"The unmotivated person
doesn't call for an appointment.
The undisciplined person
doesn't show up on time."

The unmotivated person
does not distinguish the place
they wish to be,
from the place where they are now.

The undisciplined person stays home.

Now you have all the motivation you need,
you have all the discipline you need,
though there is one thing
you still need
which you don't have... yet,

and that's self-confidence,
the self-confidence it takes
to set out on a journey
completely prepared for the trip,
knowing you've read the map,
you've charted the course
reservations taken care of,
believing you can, will,
reach your destination
quickly, easily, effortlessly.

The self-confidence it takes
to recognize all the signs of success -
just as now, you recognise
those comfortable hypnotic sensations
in the hands, arms, legs...

those physical signs
that allow you to know
you've travelled from one state
to another state in a calm, confident way.

And you can offer your self
large portions of self-confidence,
large portions of self-esteem,
you can breathe in self-confidence
and breathe out self-doubt
as you continue to enjoy
the journey towards your goal.

Throughout the years
that I have worked with people
I have had many clients come here
with a particularly interesting problem.

They have become obsessed
with the idea of making love
with someone they are attracted to,
and when they've raised the subject
with the object of their desire
they've been told,
in no uncertain terms,
that a physical relationship
was an impossibility.

And the reasons given
for the impossibility have been many:
it is too dangerous or risky,
unhealthy or even anti-social.

And yet, faced with all these obstacles,
these clients became more and more obsessed,
convinced that their happiness depended
on the consummation of their desires,
to the neglect of all other aspects
of their lives.

Which reminds me of the man
who had just bought a brand new house,
an expensive house,
in the nicest part of town.

He had admired that house
for many, many years,
maybe since he was a teenager,
maybe from his twenties.

He couldn't remember exactly,
but he did know
he'd been wanting to buy that house
for a long, long time.

And now here it was, all his.
He lavished care and attention on it,
decorated it in tasteful colours.

He wall papered and painted
and hardly paid any attention at all
to that growing headache at first.

In fact, it was several years
before he noticed
that his head seemed to have
a continuous dull ache,
and his muscles were aching as well.

He felt tired a lot, too,
so he visited a doctor
who gave him a prescription,
but he just never felt much better
and everything failed to stop that headache,
or the irritation
and the insidious feeling
that his health was fading away.

But at least he had his house!

And it is easy to understand
how he might feel
if you've ever gone from estate agent to
estate agent, or even show homes perhaps,
or just going to someone else's home,
seeing how the others live
can be an educational experience.

But I can understand my client's obsession
with something that's not about to happen,
from the day I saw my dream house.

Of course the price was very beyond
what I could possibly afford,
and yet I couldn't get it
out of my mind.

I imagined myself in the living room,
in the kitchen and in the den
and was certain I must have it
to be happy.

Now everybody knows that no body
likes to be told what to do,
and if I could tell you what to do
you wouldn't have to be here today.

You'd call me on the phone,
you'd say, "I'd like to quit smoking."

And I would say,
"That's a wonderful idea,
quit smoking... now."
But every body knows no body likes
to be told what to do,
so I wouldn't say to you,
you already know all the reasons
for ending this smoking problem.

I wouldn't have to say to you that
smoking is dangerous and unhealthy.

I wouldn't have to tell you that you will
receive no pleasure from smoking.

I never need to say that
cigarettes are a poor substitute
for controlling anxiety, or managing boredom.

But one thing I will say to you is:
"Not smoking is not a task
you won't find easy."

And when you leave here today
you'll no longer be
somebody who smokes.

You know you have the desire to smoke,
and you know you know it
and no one can talk you out of it.

But what you now know,
that you didn't know before,
is you also have a large amount
of no desire,
and you can get to know this place
of no desire
as it expands and grows
larger and larger.

And the feelings of no desire
can reach deeper and deeper,
the time of no desire continues to lengthen,
and no way is easier than this.

And I read once:
"When I was a child,
I thought like a child,
I acted like a child.

Now that I am grown-up
I put away the things of childhood."
What does that really mean?

I'm not sure,
but it certainly meant a lot
to my clients who were obsessed with
a sexual desire that could never be fulfilled.

Perhaps it was the thought of putting
old ways behind them
that finally allowed them to be free,
or perhaps they simply grew up
and took responsibility for their feelings
and their behaviour.

Disappointment is something we all face
from time to time,
and you can imagine how disappointed
that man was to learn there was insecticide
in the floor and walls of that house.

He went on his dream vacation,
and was amazed to discover his headaches
and sickness disappeared in just
a few days time.

When he got home
he contacted an expert in the field.

The expert gently broke the news,
his entire house was slowly being
poisoned...
and so was he.

It only took him only one day to pack his things,
he knew for certain
his health was worth more
than any house - no matter how long
he'd wanted it.

And I guess I finally came to terms
with the fact that I couldn't buy
a three hundred thousand pound home,
no matter what I did.

It was a nice dream,
but the price is too high to pay,
especially since there was no
sauna!

And it is good
to finally resolve those feelings
and to just let go,
not needing to know
how the unconscious mind knows
what to do... for you,
thinking with an awareness
of things thought,
without needing to know
those things which will get done automatically,
you know what to do.

Now, I'd prefer
you stop smoking immediately,
but it's entirely up to you
to discover, today,
the best time and way for you.

Some clients wait an hour,
some wait until after dinner,
and some stop entirely right before bed.

Now, I'd prefer you to stop immediately,
but it's completely up to you
to choose the time, a time today,
when you free yourself
from smoking, forever.